MyStuPiDMisTaKe

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Just like in the movies...

My first day as a waitress... hmmph.... exhausting but was one of the most enjoyable moments in my life. You see, it felt just like my first clinical day in 3rd year. I'll be waiting at the Clinical Decision Unit for patients but when they finally arrive, I'll be the last person to go and get the history from them. The fundamental nature is about being confident. Trying to build the courage to walk up to that door and greet them and anticipating questions on the menu. It’s like waiting for inquisitive patients to ask you some intriguing questions about their diseases, bearing in mind that internet these days has more crap to tell patients than just listening from the doctors. However, in the restaurant, they don’t get their questions from the net, but it’s based on how and what is displayed on the menu. I had to spend hours reading the menu and understanding what each of them means, especially trying to explain the kueh-mueh, in which I have to admit, was the most challenging task for the night.

One thing that can make explaining the food easier is that I’m able to order anything from the menu for my night shift dinner. This way, I’ll be able to recommend the best option if being asked for one (and of course, free food always tastes better!!). The Asam Pedas Kupang and the sweet succulent Chicken Wings are to die for. I had Phad Thai Noodle last night for dinner and although I have to admit it’s not the best Phad Thai that I’ve tasted so far, but it was tasty enough to actually make me crave for more. Although I think they should not use too much capsicum in it, or even better, none at all. Oh did I mention the cold, sweet and tangy Sangria mocktail? It’s a mixture of various citrus fruits and soda with some other secret ingredients (non-alcoholic of course!), which I shall not mention here. Hehehe…

At the end of the day, my knees were wobbly and my back were hurting so bad, and not to mention the aching biceps from carrying those plates and bowls (they serve really good portion of meals for reasonable prices). Oh and you don’t want to miss the big, tender, sweet, succulent chicken Sate, one of the highlights from the menu.
This feels so different. Walking into the restaurant, with a warm, welcoming ambience, so different from other Malaysian restaurants I've been to in the UK. With contemporary setting, friendly staff and great mouth-watering Malaysian food at affordable prices, this is the place where you definitely wanna be when your tummy starts to grumble. I'm glad that this is where I belong for this coming few months.

Friday, November 25, 2005

I woke up this morning realising that this will be the last chance for me to enjoy one of the perfect views of this city from my bedroom window. It had been a great three months staying in this little, yet cosy, room, having my own quiet time to reflect about things that happened this year and of course, working my ass off for the finals. I can actually see the Stadium of Lights from my room.

The hospital is not bad either. I have to admit that this is one of the friendliest hospitals I have been to. People here are always warm and welcoming, not to mention how helpful the teaching fellows are (and I even had a crush on one of them… Hehehe…).

The past three months had also granted me a great friend whom I really want to keep for life (we’ll see how many plates I’ll break this weekend ‘rite, mate?). And of course, I had been given the chance to get to know someone more than before. She really does have a kind heart and I’m terribly sorry for all my stupid judgements made about her few years back.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and we were asking each other about things that we want to do in our lives outside medicine. He wants to study Theology or to act in a movie. Me, on the other hand, would really love to work in a coffee shop or be guitar-playing singer like Michelle Branch (and try not to marry my bassist... Hehehe). Well, one can always dream. I don’t know about him but since I do have ample time before starting my job as a doctor, I see this as an opportunity to do something non-medical. A friend of mine offered me a part-time job as a model in Malaysia yesterday (Oh dear, I think it’s been quite a while since the last time you saw me. What model are we talking about here? Fat-fighters? NO-WAY!!). Well, if I have the looks and the height, I would give it a go but I guess I’m a bit disproportionate at the moment (now, where’s that two-size up emergency jeans…). Most of my friends who have started their job as a doctor kept telling me to take this break or I’ll never ever again taste the joy of life, ever again. Hmmph… I’ll definitely keep that in mind.

P/s: Just realised that I’ve lost one of my precious pair of earrings… my round red earrings… guess they might have fallen off while I was in the library yesterday. Oh well, I guess that must have had happened for a reason. I’m gonna miss them though…

My Tune for today...

THE GOOD KIND
-Michelle Branch & Jessica Harp-

'Do you wanna run away together?'
I would say it was your best line ever.
Too bad I fell for it...
And I walked along,
Waiting for you to come along.
Take my tortured heart by the hand.
And write me off.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...
You forced me to become strong.
And I just cried, being weak.
And you think you know.
And I would like to think so,
But do you know that when you go,
I fall apart.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind.
No, it's not the good kind...
I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes,
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...

No, you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.



Thursday, November 24, 2005

Something to ponder...
Me: So, this is your first time having a girlfriend eh?
[laugh]
Someone: Yup, first time.
[smile]
Me: So, how's life in a relationship so far?
Someone: I find it very interesting. Last time I had all the time in the world for myself but now everything has to evolve around both of us. And I think women think in a very different but unique way. It's like solving a puzzle each time I try to understand her. Something new but worth using my brain for.
Me: [smile]. It might be interesting for the first few months but later you might feel exhausted trying to understand what she really wants. Especially when you have to use your brain to the max each time of the month.
Someone: I know. But it's better than not to have use it at all for someone so precious like her.
[Smile]
hmmph... I wish all men can think like him.
You And I Both
-Jason Mraz-

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
All things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing out the whole thing

Oh but at often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just dream of
Others only read of the love
Of the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages four words
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Oh love, love
You and I, you and I
Not so little, you and I anymore
Ooohhh
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving
Is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally de de de de de de de
Well I'm almost finally finally
Well I am free, I'm free

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephone
well, they're workin it both ways
But if I never, ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside had
Finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Well then I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally de de de de de de de de
Well i'm almost finally
finally out of words

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

FINALLY…

I’m starting to lose count on how many blogs I have or had but I hope this one will be my final one. My life was struck by thunder a few months back. Cried like a loser and tried to pull myself back together to face whatever is left for me.

To cut a long story short, I’m now a doctor and soon will be moving to a bigger city than where I’m currently at, where things are definitely going to be very different for me. You see, I’ve got my degree but will not be starting my job till like next August. So, in the mean time, I have to find something useful to do. Besides, I can’t go 7 months without practicing medicine or else I’ll be killing my patients when I start working later on.

This Tuesday, I’ll be starting my part-time job as a waitress in one of the restaurants in that city. To be honest, I just can’t wait to start my job coz, call me strange, but I’m dying to wear the apron and serve people food and drinks. Weird eh? Hehehe... Dunno why but it’s something that I’m hoping to try at least once in my life if I have the chance to. I’ll be working nights most of the time but there will be days that I have to work in the afternoon too. Since I’ll have some of my mornings and afternoons off, I’m planning to apply for a clinical attachment with one of the hospitals in that city. These hospitals have a good reputation, or so I heard. And that’s my clinical skills sorted.

I’ve deleted all my entries in this blog prior to today’s date because I think that some things are better left unsaid. One thing for sure, all things happened for a reason and it’s just funny to see how life can really play tricks on us…well, on me, for sure. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. It’s human nature to protect your own feelings when you know there are uncertainties hanging right in front of you. You’d rather take a step back and let the chance pass you by. Well, that doesn’t apply to everything or everyone of course… in my case, it will be one of the most important events in my life. Well, people always say, if you lose something, you’ll gain other things. I hope that things will turn out for the better, for both of us.

Here’s something that will keep me smiling, well, something precious I’m left with from what I used to have.

All About You
McFly

It's all about you
(It's about you)
It's all about you, baby
(It's all about you)
It's all about you
(It's about you)
It's all about you

[Verse 1]
Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you'
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you'

[Verse 2]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you.
Yeah...

[Verse 3]
And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It's all about you.

-End-

I guess, when it wasn’t meant to be in the first place, you can’t really force it to happen. There’s no harm in trying, but the rest is not for us to decide. I knew from the start that I should just keep my feet on the ground and not fly back to the past. Now, I’ve opened a big door for a new scar in my heart, again. Well, time will heal. I know it will.

Well, raise your glasses fella
s!! Here, to a new start!