MyStuPiDMisTaKe

Friday, March 17, 2006

Somethin' To Look Forward To This Weekend..

Yep. I am going away this weekend! Meeting up with friends at the gig on Saturday. The last time I was at a Malaysian gig was few years back. Thinking back of those times when most of my close friends were around, I noticed how fast time flies. I still strongly remember the great fun we had in Newcastle and Sheffield. This time it's gonna be different with a different, new crowd. Not that I'm THAT old but I guess I miss the yesteryears when everyone was so carefree. We laughed, screamed and danced like nobody else's business. Most of them are all back in Malaysia, doing really good careerwise and some of them have already started a family. I guess being a medic really suck sometimes. 5 years in University is long enough for me to have high friends 'turnover'. I'm glad that I am now at the beginning of starting my life too. Honestly, I wanna go back to Malaysia and settle down but I guess that have to wait, at least another 3-5 years.

The first time my close friends were involved in organisisng a BOTB was in 2002, I think. However, I had to give the event a miss. Thanks to my ridiculously jealous boyfriend at that time. Don't ask me why I stayed with him for 2 and 1/2 years. It was a mistake from the very beginning anyway. But I had the opportunity to get to know those people who were in the BOTB 'coz I used to hang out a lot at the guys' place. Those were the good days.

Sheffield was the next location. We had the same bands performing. The event wasn't that big, considering the very tiny venue we had on top of the Khan's Indian restaurant, no offfence. But the crowd is enough to make the event a great night. I remember wearing the same top with Zana, again don't ask me why. I dunno where's the top now though. Zana decided to chuck it away after seeing an old fat lady wearing it on the street, hahah.. .that was so funny. And I think I decided to turn it into a 'kain buruk' after seeing how ridiculous I looked like that night in the video. I remember havin' a nice milky, soothing oreos milk shake at TGI Fridays with most of the band members the night after. The company was good. I wonder how's life treating them now back home.

We then had another gig held in Newcastle. I must say that it was the most enjoyable moment so far. We had this Bruneian friend who was a great entertainer. He just know how to capture our attention with his 'catchy' songs. We also had Dayang (ex 1st runner up of of of the the TV3 song competitions), who gave us the best performance that night. I was only the 'ticket girl' that night but I did helped out organising the gig. It was such great fun. I remember laughing at each others that night while watching the video. Oh not to mention that Sheffield sent a really rocking band that night with kudo as the lead guitarist. You should see the look on the middle-aged MSD representative that night. HEHEH... She must have sworn after not to attend such events. heheh... bless her.

The last one that I remember was the Malaysian and Cultural Event in Newcastle. It wasn't really a gig but we had a band performing as the intro to the night. That was the first time in my life that I actually performed in a band. Of course we had other traditional performances where I did take part in some of them as well.

I guess this time it's gonna be different. Although I do know some of the band members but I wish I can turn back time and feel the same feeling I felt few years ago. Afterall, it's a night to chill out and have fun!

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Leaving for Warwick on Sunday morning from Sheffield for Warwick games. This might be the last time for me to see some of my good friends playing. One of them is going back to Malaysia for good and the other one for holidays. But of course the main reason for going is to support my guy :) I hope they'll win the medal this time (as always...) GAMBARRE!! (ok ok I know I'm using this word too much now)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Just my thoughts...

Why do people keep giving promises that they never keep?

Why do people only find me when they're lonely and suddenly disappear when everything is sky-blue for them?

Is it too much to actually send a text and tell you what's going on with the promises?

F*** them. I don't want to know and I don't care anymore. You want me to appreciate you, then try to value this friendship more.

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Watched '1 litre of tears' today and I think it's a brilliant Japanese mini-series. It's based on a true story about this 15-year old girl who had been diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Atrophy ( degeneration of the cerebellum and spinal nerves). Her disease is incurable and will progress later on with various debilitating complications. She slowly had problem with swallowing, speech and mobility. During her life, she wrote a diary of all her experiences living with the rapidly-progressing disease. It was named as '1 Litre of Tears' where it has been sold for millions of copies, and also where the series actually got its name.


I would recommend watching it. The subject interests me a lot since it is a disease which I might be dealing with if I decide to choose neurology as my future career path. People ask me why I choose neurology as a profession. I think it is a noble speciality, like any other profession. Since most neurological diseases tend to be chronic, I will be given the chance to know my patients even more and sometimes, for the rest of their lives. I might change my mind along the way but at the moment, I'm looking foward to this speacialty. GAMBARRE!!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Watching Seth and Summer together reminds me a lot of the fairy-tale love I used to imagine about. Moments when I was so carried away when Squall in FFVIII actually pulled Rinoa towards him and kissed her. My knees goes all weak thinking of the time when Rinoa showed him the shooting star and he then looked at her with his dreamy eyes. Feeling flattered when Domiouji tried to protect Tsukushi even though he clearly knows that she is capable of protecting herself. When Tidus tried to give the best that he can to Yuna, and protecting her from his own evil father, Sin.
Fairy tales always try to picture a heroic quality in a man and the soft, fragile character in a woman. What makes these mentioned characters different from the so called cliché is that the woman is not that soft, helpless person after all. They can fight, they speak their mind and they can be independent if they want to. Of course there are times when they want to feel protected by their men and reveal the fragile side of them but most of the time they are in control of themselves.

To find someone who shares the same interest with you is not easy and to find someone who can actually feel what you’re feeling inside is something totally different and even harder. To find someone who can actually read your mind when you slowly fall deeper and deeper into your own fantasy. You kind of know that he understands what’s going on in your own fairytale mind. The best thing is that he actually made it happen in real life. Although fantasising is far from being realistic but there are certain things that are doable despite their existence only in manga or playstation games. And the best part is that when he says that you kind of remind him of the girl in the game. It might sound weird but flattering enough.


Saying all these does not mean that I'm not grateful with all the love my special someone has given me, don't get me wrong. I love him the way he is. This is just me drifting into my own final fantasy.

As for me, games gave me this satisfaction that I know it’s too good to be true. Call me Alice or whatever but I love being that person whenever I watch the story line. I’m glad to find a friend who genuinely share the same interest and actually knows what’s going on in my head and not judge me for that. I guess Seth treats Summer in the way that I'd be in awe of, with their 'Captain Oats' and 'Princess Sparkle', is because Seth can see what I often see in my fantasy.